It’s November and the texts start rolling in. It’s time to figure out where you’re going to spend the holidays and schedule events and activities. You’re feeling stressed, and it’s time to make some decisions.
As the holidays rapidly approach, navigating the pressures and expectations of family and friends, food and alcohol, and finances is not easy. But by setting boundaries, practicing effective communication, and checking in with ourselves while listening to the needs of our body and mental health, we can overcome the pre-holiday anxiety that so often creeps up during this season. Let’s dive into communication with family and friends!
Deciding who to spend the holidays with and being forced into traditions can be a huge stress on your mental health.
As though it isn’t hard enough to work through people pleasing throughout the rest of the year, the holidays season can be so much worse. Families are complicated. Statistically speaking, there is a good chance your parents are divorced, and you might feel the pressure of having to choose which parent to spend the day with if they don’t have any system or schedule in place for holiday gatherings.
Maybe you’ve experienced a loss that has changed the way the holiday feels or how family functions. Maybe you have found yourself in a position of coordinating family gatherings. Perhaps your family wants you to participate in traditions or beliefs that you simply don’t align yourself with anymore. We’re here to confirm that navigating broken families and coping with expectations and heavy feelings is hard. Your feelings are 100% valid.
Setting boundaries with your family is difficult, but you are completely capable of doing it. Although we can’t control how others react, we can control what we say and how we respond to what others say. Communication is a big part of this.
If you’re traveling for the holidays away from certain family members, maybe suggest scheduling a separate celebration on a different day and reinforcing the fact that that family member is just as valuable to you. When times get tough thinking about loss, reflect on the joys of holidays past, and allow the memories to bring you comfort and love. If you need help planning and organizing gatherings, ask other family members for help and assign responsibilities. If you are being pressured into a tradition you don’t care for, stick to your guns. You shouldn’t be forced into anything that makes you uncomfortable!
Friends are sometimes the ones we love being around the most but end up at the bottom of the priority list.
The tale that feels older than time itself is trying to coordinate a day for the friend group to get together for brunch or a simple movie night. Add the holiday season to the mix and you’re in for a bumpy ride. Since the pressure is usually off to adhere to a strict set of rules when it comes to scheduling holiday hangouts with friends, it could either help your anxiety or make it harder to schedule around your family activities. This is the time to stop and think about what the state of your mental health is looking like. If you’re overloaded, or feeling misunderstood or undervalued, it may be time to prioritize spending time recharging with those who refuel your appreciation for life.
If you want to prioritize spending the holidays with your friends, you are allowed to do so. That isn’t to say that family should never be prioritized, but you owe it to yourself to be happy and healthy. If that means scheduling other events around the ones that will bring you the most joy, then so be it. At Simply Psych, we believe that cultivating connection is a huge part of good mental health. We are better together!
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