As Thanksgiving wraps up and e-vites for holiday parties and get-togethers start rolling in, you might be panicking at the thought of the overindulging in food and alcohol that is to come. Thanksgiving might’ve been a bit easier to navigate because you only had that warm plate or two with a few drinks around people you love and trust. Although nearly every holiday definitely involves heavy carbs, maybe there was also plenty of protein, veggies, and fruit-based pies.
The holiday season is completely different. The desserts are sweeter, snacks are loaded with carbs and cheese, and the alcohol flows more freely at various events with people who might not know you as well as family and friends.
If you are on a health journey that looks like limiting unhealthy foods and drinks (maybe you’re completely sober!), this can be a very stressful time with immense pressure to partake and conform. If you’re a seasoned professional at this, you might be nodding your head, reminiscing on memories of holidays past filled with turmoil. If practicing moderation is new, or if you struggle to meet your dietary goals, we know how devastatingly hard this can be.
As the holidays rapidly approach, we’re writing a series of blogs on how together we can navigate the pressures and expectations of family and friends, food and alcohol, and finances through setting boundaries, practicing effective communication, and checking in with ourselves while listening to the needs of our body and mental health. Let’s get into self-control and setting boundaries with food and alcohol!
Setting boundaries with yourself and others is the first step in managing your food and alcohol intake.
First and foremost, you are certainly not alone. A survey conducted In 2020 showed that 63% of people fear overeating during the holidays and experience guilt over it in advance, while 43% percent say that food is more stress-inducing than drama with family or even scrambling to find gifts. There are more of us struggling inwardly with this than it feels! If you are sober or limiting alcohol, you might find it extremely difficult to resist temptation or set a drink limit for yourself. The pressure to “just have fun” or “relax” makes it all worse, especially when you believe that you are better without it.
This is the perfect time to create a plan for yourself. Knowing what or how much you will allow yourself to eat or drink in advance makes maintaining self-control much easier. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner and others that you are sticking to a limit for food or alcohol. Not only are you speaking it into existence for yourself, but others can help you stay on track and achieve your goals. You might even positively influence the people around you!
Do your own thing and don’t be afraid to SAY NO THANK YOU!
You may decide to prepare your own healthier dishes and batched drinks to contribute to potlucks and parties. That being said, it is important to note that people might judge you because they don’t understand your choice or even lack the self-control to limit their food and alcohol intakes as well. You do you. This is your mental and physical health on the line! Meanwhile, most people will be thrilled to enjoy consuming something that isn’t the usual unhealthy line up of sugary/carby snacks, appetizers, and cocktails.
People are more understanding than you think, but it won’t stop some from trying to push your limits. If family members start pressuring you to eat more, say no thank you. If they interrogate you for “dieting” or “disrespecting” them, explain how that is not your intention—Or don’t! If co-workers start pressuring you to drink more than you are comfortable with, say no thank you. For many, alcohol is the main form of stress relief. Most social drinkers don’t like to imbibe alone because they feel like they are making bad decisions and everyone else is being “good.” That’s not on you!
It’s really important to remember that people judge when they fear judgment themselves.
Hopefully that has been made clear. Although we firmly believe that you don’t owe anyone an explanation, especially once they’ve crossed a boundary which you’ve graciously set beforehand, one remedy for the heartache of confrontation and breaking away from the unhealthy “normal” is embracing the situation with compassion and conversation.
You don’t deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable for doing what’s best for you while harming nobody else, but we can keep in mind that others’ responses reveal the ways in which they too are struggling. It’s not your job to give them advice for healing, but communicating your journey and the healthy reasons for your boundaries might help them to understand your perspective at the least.
At Simply Psych, we believe in the power of family, friendships, and co-workers, too – even when it’s really hard. And we believe in YOU! Believe it or not, we also believe in delicious food and a drink or two (and not driving after!!!). The holidays are a stressful time, but they can be tremendously joyful so long as you utilize those tools in your mental health toolbox to better navigate uncomfortable situations so that you can flourish and have the happiest holiday yet.
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